A New Year

Well - 2010 begins today. Hard to believe more than a year has passed since I wrote that first post. Unfortunatly not much has changed. I did set forth on my journey of finding out who I am. A little pain, a lot of tears and I am a few steps closer.

Life has a funny way of throwing things back at a person - seems if we diddn't learn the lesson the first time; it keeps coming back until we do.

I found the process of unravelling the issues in my life liberating , yet disconcerting. There is something weird about baring your soul to a stranger - a bit like sitting naked in the mall - but no one cares except you. I guess I'd like to get comfortable with that nakedness - it's who we really are. I don't mean naked ( really ) just without all the baggage we cover up with - being who we think people need us to be. I just really want to be me.

Emotionally, I am more of a mess than ever - seems every corner of my life has been opened to disaster, but slowly things are resolving in some areas. A wise person told me that we must only take on what is in our control - trying really hard to do that. Hardest workwise though - as there is not much control left.

Weight wise, I am down 25 punds over last year - but thought I would be much further. Lost some ground over the holidays and feel sluggish and bloated. Tiem to recommit to healthy eating. Not dieting - just going to eat real food and try and cut out simple carbs and sugar for a few weeks and see how that goes.

So, here's to a new year; and hopefully a new me by next year.